Sa oled itaallane, kui…

Sattusin yhel veebsaidil lugema mingit teemaarendust, umbes, et kui sa kàitud nii-ja-naa, siis oled itaallane.

Leidsin testile kohe praktilise rakenduse - kui testi àra teen, saan teada, millises assimileerumise etapis olen – ja hakkasin òhinaga linnukesi tegema.

Yhesònaga, seal on kokku oli 44 punkti, millest 22 peatusid tapva pòhjalikkusega kòikvòimalikel kulinaarsetel peensustel.
Muidu nagu ei oskakski sellest asjast midagi arvata, aga tòepoolest me siin kohvibaariski kuttidega arutame peaaegu iga pàev, et mis nad eile òhtusòògiks valmistasid ja millisest ajakirjast retsepti leidsid. Kui kutid ise midagi ei valmistanud pole, siis tavaliselt me rààgime, et kes kuskohas sòòmas kàis ja mida tàpselt pakuti. Nàiteks eile yks konsultant kàis kebabi sòòmas, saime me kòik tàna hommikul teada. Elu sees pole ma nii pikka kebabi-teemalist vestlust kogenud. Kusjuures selle kebabivestluse kestel sain taaskord kinnitust, et itaallastel on hàmmastav oskus rààkida mingist suvalisest asjast pikalt, aga see-eest ilma mingit sisulist infot vàlja andmata.

Toidust rààkides tuli veel meelde sukeldumisinstruktor P, kes Egiptuses itaallaste kuurordis tòòtades vaatas huviga, et kyll itaallased rààgivad ikka palju. P on hakkaja meesterahvas ja nii ta omandaski kiirelt itaalia keele pòhitòed. Oma suureks pettumuseks sai ta seejàrel teada, et itaallased rààgivad ainult kahest asjast - mida nad sòid ja kellega koos nad mida sòid.

Kui nyyd selle 44 punkti juurde korraks tagasi tulla, siis ma avastasin selle teemaarenduse jàrelt miljon kommentaari, kus kodanikud pidasid vajalikuks lisada erinevaid tàpsustusi. Nàiteks ‘sa oled itaallane, kui ostad ainult Barillo vòi De Cecco pastat’. Taolistele kommentaaridele tuli alati tàiendavaid parandusi ja mòtteid umbes et ‘aaa… Barillo kyll, aga sa unustasid Rano pasta, mis on ju tortellinide valmistamisel absoluutselt asendamatu’.
Yhesònaga, tànase pàeva òpikogemus on, et itaallaste toidu-obsessioon on tegelikult palju suuremate mòòtmetega nàhtus, kui ma ette kujutasin :)

Muidu mu enda sisemine itaallane sai 19 punkti. Eriti raske oli vastata sellele: You stopped going every week to the church after the Cresima. Kuidas vastata, kui elu sees igal nàdalal kirikus kàinud, rààkimata veel peale Cresimat kirikus kàimisest, sest Cresima pole mind elu sees tabanud. Tàpselt nagu Karlssoni hommikuse konjakijoomise kysimus.

Allpool need 44 punkti ka (neile, kes viitsivad lugeda) :)

1 Everytime you ask for a very-short-Espresso abroad you find it's not short enough...

2 Although you know that pizza abroad is just something different, you are still looking for it

3 You ask for a pizza pepperoni and wonder why they give you Salame...

4 At starbucks you ask for "coffe and milk", the bartender asks again "you want a latte?" you answer: "no: I want coffe and milk!"

5 You feel really frustrated when tipping is compulsory. So you barely give some coins

6 When they ask you if you want "italian dressing" in the salad, you always answer "no, thanks"

7 If they bring to you a salad with the so-called-italian-dressing you give it back and ask for a plain salad

8 Abroad you won't ask for a salad with oil, salt and vinegar or lemon because you believe it would be too difficult to explain

9 You consider weird people those who wear the jumper of their university, especially if they are inside the university

10 You wonder why in USA there are many so-called italian things you never saw in your entire life.

11 You know Italian cuisine is just unbeatable.

12 You know Cucina Mediterrania is the healthiest.

13 You have tried at least once to explain to anyone the difference between raw ham and cooked ham, without succeding

14 You have tried at least once to explain to anyone the difference between sausage and wurstel, failing.

15 When in USA they tell you that the weather it's 100 degrees you think they are joking...

16 you ask for mineral water even if you know the tap water is just as good

17 A meal without bread is not a meal; possibly several differnt types of bread

18 You eat a sweet and small breakfast

19 If you have breakfast in a bar, you ask for "Cappuccio e Brioche, perfavore!"

20 You never have Cappuccino after 11.00 ( a.m. no need to specify! )

21 You are metereophatic: your mood changes according to the weather

22 When you are abroad you like to list the differences with Italy

23 You kiss the cheeks of every girl you meet

24 The best food is the food of your city

25 You don't like the italian songs that succed abroad

26 You download lots of music and films from internet, and think it is morally permitted

27 you have read lots of books at high school. And if you din't because you copied at the exams, you pretend you've read them anyway.

28 You love Nutella...anytime...

29 You call it Ragu', not Bolognaise!!

30 You know some Pierre (P.R.) but call them only in the week-end

31 when something is exagerated you say "che Americanata!", especially if it is a movie

32 You've always wanted the money to buy a Ferrari or a Maserati..but if you had enough money you would rather go on vacation in Brazil and never come back

33 You think your city is better than all the other cities in Italy

34 When you were young you used to go to the Oratorio (or know somebody who did)

35 You stopped going every week to the church after the Cresima

36 You love the Aperitivo and call it "Happy Hour"

37 You miss home even if you hate it

38 you hate cold pizza

39 you hate pizza with Ananas (Pinapple)

40 you call the subway "Metro"

41 At high school you did Autogestione or Occupazione (unless you went to private school)

42 You have a particular word to say "miss school": bigiare, zompare, balzare, marinare, bruciare, far palo...

43 You think queueing in line is unefficient

44 you never use a Taxi because it is too expensive